SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

The good, the bad and the ugly truth.

I got everything last night, everything. Months I tried making sense of something I just couldn’t see my H doing for the reasons he claimed, I have tried my very best to heal while having my head spin round at 100 miles per hour looking for the missing pieces, I tried so hard to not be dragged back in the loop of doom but I couldn’t, I was getting better at it though.
What my H told me last night perfectly explained why there were only ever 8 incidents spread over 2.5 years and also I’m pretty certain my H didn’t have any feelings for little miss available.

Turns out I’ve been married to a toddler and his reaction to being told off wasn’t good.

Instead of being riddled with jealousy and feelings of being less than, today I find it laughable that the only time my H was physical with Ap was because he was in fact throwing his teddy bear out of his cot in protest.

I can’t really explain my feelings today, it’s a mixture of a few things I think, I don’t feel any sadness or anger which is strange for me because usually it’s either one or the other, no pain, just sort of well it is what it is, it’s over and now what will I do because my job here is done, I have nothing to look for anymore.

No rumination this morning.

Not really asking any question really just wanting to let it out, obviously any input/thoughts is always greatly appreciated.

Bruce.

You are heard, Bruce123
Are you feeling kind of num? Now What?

Asterisk

Asterisk,

Thank you for your reply, not numb no but the now what yes. It feels like sort of a relief but also thinking wow!, really? he was that immature, not in a painful way but more disappointed.

Thank you for your reply, not numb no but the now what yes. It feels like sort of a relief but also thinking wow!, really? he was that immature, not in a painful way but more disappointed.

Immature behavior seems to be an inherent aspect of infidelity — a way to act out for some.

On the flip side, in my case, my wife has grown up quite a bit since all of her poor choices. Part of our rebuilding the M was my wife seeing just how immature her rationalizations for her bad decisions were.

Do you see any potential growth or maturity for your husband?

I think that is the unfortunate question any of us attempting R have to ask.

Owning all of the bad choices can be a first good sign, or at least it was for me.

I hope that some things now make sense it helps you heal.

I know it helped me.

Old wounds,
Thank you for your support, he seemed to hit 40 and grow up.
Absolutely without a shadow of a doubt he has owned everything, he’s absolutely disgusted in himself at what he told himself in order to give himself permission and even worse what he told himself about me.

It sort makes me mad because he’s had over 3 years to reflect, sometimes he sounds so wise and because he puts his hands up and owns everything I have nothing to argue with or get my anger out.

Bruce123–

It sort makes me mad because he’s had over 3 years to reflect, sometimes he sounds so wise and because he puts his hands up and owns everything I have nothing to argue with or get my anger out.

Punching bag.

I bought a literal punching bag for the home gym (you can hang them about anywhere) and got some great exercise while beating the *%$# out of that bleeping bag.

I did a hike on a trail, climbed to the top and sort of yelled at the world. That was a good day too.

Exercise, angry music, punching bags, running, walking, hit a pillow if you don’t want to buy a punching bag.

Process that anger.

Write it out. Journal. Vent on SI everyday if need be.

Your anger is well earned, but vent it out as often as possible.

Whatever you do, do NOT bury it!